Roscoe's Blog Roll

Well the time is almost nigh for the complete overhaul and lube job, take 2 coming up starting next week.

Overhaul?
Yes. Time to trim the sails, scrub the decks, and reinvigorate the soul once again!

Take 2, because Take 1 went swimmingly well - but alas, have ventured back to sad sad daddy sadville.

WTF am I talking about?
My body.
Yep!

For a brief recap - I've always been a rather rubenesque Roscolini. May whole life in fact.

And one day (while I happened to be very very part time and giving up on Uni work) I decided to do something about my weight...

I was around the 148kg mark...
And after 3-4 months, dropped to, believe it or not...92-93kg mark.

Dangerous I know, but shit - it's true, the world judges you on appearance, not personality.
It's the truth, no matter what people tell you.

I got a fucking shitload of female attention once I'd shredded my waistline!
But alas, yo-yo'd I have.

My discipline has slackened, and I've now crept up again to the 128kg mark, and it's making me feel ick.

I can't fit my awesome clothes anymore - and as such, starting Sunday this week, I'm going to start a basic, self tailored, regime to slip me down to a sub 110kg mark...So here goes!

Wish me luck, and update this Sunday!


-m

Well, okay - I'm never a marathon man in regards to getting shit done unless I have the in tense passion to do.

But I really do need to get my shit together!

More details coming soon!


-m

Out of the gate, and off to work,

went Rossie McFlossie, from Upper Hutt City.



No problems for me, not a cloud in the sky!

But as i leave the Hutt I grimace and sigh.



Bogans, White trash, and Po-po I spy,

makes a Hutt dude just want to cry....



Muffin-top Mclay, with her 4 baybays;

spending her dole at the bakeray. ...



Smokey Magee with his last 20, Trying to score a skunk tinny.

From Mongrol TeMorse, who just ate a horse, handing Magee, tin foil and gorse.






Erm........I give ups now.

Well the countdown to Samoa is well under way - and I have still to make any strides into my Hulau-hula body.
But the past week, I may have contacted the Swine....I do smell bacon at the mo....
Just feel like poos and wees, which isn't helping the cause at all.

But oh well!
Voda girl is poos anywhos, as she's constantly mucking me around, so I guess I have nothing to prove to her, no matter how much I may (non-confirmed with my real-world sanity) be in absolute love with her, so I guess we'll see how it goes....

I've also now completely sold out and purchased an iPhone, so i'll see if I can update from it.
It needs a lot of getting used to before then though.....piece of poo.....

I'm a saaaad panda :(

Them's there are quitters words!

But the thing is, after your world says to you 'Hmmm....this looks like a great longdrop!

Here's some plops!' you start to think about things.

Do I continue on this path, or start afresh?

More often than not, the easier path of staying on the tried and tested is always the way to go. But thjat's the thing - if you never venture off the beaten track, and go AWOL in the boonies with the banjoe's, then how the hell do you know what's over the ridge? (please not sodomy, please not sodomy)

I am getting sick and tired of being the UN of my life - appeasing and making nice, but not doing fuck all because I have no balls.

I have maybe metal BB's - yow they hurt, but there's nothing like a .50 cal!

Soooo.......where to from here!

Fuck it!

Do I sound like a broken record, stuck on 'Ice Ice Baby'? Yeah, most probably.

But stayed tuned, non-existent readers! :D

I am going to stow my luggage in the overhead compartment, and go bananas!

Like an ape who wants bananas!

GO FUCKIN APESHIT!!!!

.....man I wish I had a voice-typer-thingymajig :(

"Tear some shit up biarch!"

Well, i'm now all booked and ready to shake my shit and once again head abroad,
to a nice warm climate for a change,
where I won't get held up at knife point,
offered drugs by undercover cops,
and get hit on by strippers!

Am heading off 19th of August for 9 days of sunny sleepy sandy good times, and this time i'm (hopefully) not going solo!

Awesomo VodaGirl is coming too, so I guess I better get some sembalance to my physique before I go!

The steroids that I am currently on for my poopoo back/neck/shoulder pain has whopped on my body kilos of poos, and pimples galore, so i'm hoping to get off the meds, and get a tyrinacal regime in place to shed the crap, and muscle up!

So hear goes nothing - tomorrow is a new day, to get all the flabbyness away!

Stay tuned.....

What a poos weekend!

I seem to have angered more than my fair share of peeps this weekend, and it basically comes down to silly turps related shenanigans and having a cellphone with me during those times.

But oh well!

Singledom is where I will be residing for a while to come it looks like :D

Men are like apples on trees.

The best ones are at the top of the tree.

Women dont want to reach up for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt.

Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy.

So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing.

They just have to wait for the right lady to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Me, I must be at the top of Tāne Mahuta :(

Car crash ads!
I was thinking about this last night, and how come I have never seen a car crash ad where the driver is a woman? Is that just because the crash statistics dictate most fatalaties in New Zealand are caused by male drivers? Or is it just that New Zealand doesn't have the stomach to see a hot chicky get mutilated by a steering wheel?
Hmmmm.....

As I gaze up at the Southern Cross,
My thoughts are full of fear and loss.

Mistakes i've made, regrets too,
Just makes me feel sad and blue.

But I look up again, and then I think,
As it may semm that life's gone down the sink:

'Fuck it! Tomorrow is another day!!'

Come the morrow night will I say:
'Life is shit....Woe is me!'

Why do I think these things when I see..

The beauty of the stars above!
And yet why do I just of love??

Kisses, hugs....smiles and grins:
All the things I fail to win...

The darkness, black, cold of night,
Should not be my outlook on life!

The warmth of the brand new dawn
Should renew my thoughts, become reborn!
Embrace the new and sunny day,
Until a star shines my way.

Well it's Monday and time for a fresh start!
Full on Fresh-Up start.

Just going to be starting the ball rolling to getting back in tip-top shape for, hopefully, the upcoming rugby season.

Step 1 - Remodel!
I'm now a bald eagle (in the non mmm-tasty-foofie way!)
Why I did that - I dunno.
But it's all sort of adding into the whole 'focus on moi' attitude i'm taking to self renewal and general re-inventment (if that's even a word!)
And now it's time for the Kanye Workout Plan to get myself back in the game.

Step 2 - Wheels!
Man, i'm sooo sick and tired of having to use the Poobird to get around in!
Am keen on getting either a 3 Series BMW Coupe, or a VW Golf, but as per yet..... No joy.....
Damn stupid economic recession!!!

Step 3 - Shelter!
Need some new digs, preferably in town or the shining light of Petone.

Soon as i've done these 3, time to move onto the final coup-de-grace....

Grow my hair back!
Until i've met these three things, i'm going to meditate and keep my costs low, so if you see my mop growing out, you know i'm all breezy and easy! :)

That being the Wolverine movie, filmed in and around Queenstown last year!

I'm looking forward to it, especially seeing as Wolverine is old as the hills, and the battle scenes where he was in World War One, Two (oooo D-Day landings!) then Vietnam - almost cream worthy!

And finally get to see my favourite X-person, Gambit (picture above) finally get his pioece of the action. Anyways, here's the link below to the new trailer....

http://au.movies.ign.com/dor/objects/34461/x-men-origins-wolverine/videos/wol_trlr2_au_020509.html

I am a person that naturally likes to write.
Writing crap is my specialty!
But here's something I wrote a while back - morbid as crap, but what the hey!
Chuck a thumpin D&B bassline over it, and you have pure liquid gold!!!!

Where's My Fucking Knuckleduster?

Missing you, feeling blue,
Just dinners for 1, no dinners for 2
Missing you, like losing a shoe,
I can't recall where I left you?


A pen can say great words of joy,
The pen also has the power to destroy
Great hopes and dreams and fun time things,
And everything else in between.

I am just so confused right now,
How much more can I allow?
Nice things for you and trips abroad,
But Monaco's something I can't afford.
To make you smile is my only dream,
We make such an awesome team!


Alas....


Missing you, like taking a poo,
Sometimes it’s tough, but i'll pull through
Missing you, just missing you,
Have to accept the no me and you



- Fin

I think that says it all! :)